Wings of Blood by Rebecca Yarros

But enough of the preamble. What is this novel about? Well, about horny, very horny dragons. Horny, very horny youngsters. Plus, there are griffins (although there are no signs that they are horny), magic, political intrigue… Come on, all it’s missing are vampires and adrenochrome.

The story opens with our young protagonist, Violet Sorrengail, being forced by her mother’s Germanov, a high-ranking military officer and cold as the blood of the reptilians who rule us, to enlist as a dragon rider cadet, the elite of the elite of the army. This is very dramatic, as there are many deaths in the training, not to mention that the cadets kill each other in a sort of outdated Darwinism to eliminate those who might be a burden.

Extra drama because young Violet has a disease that makes her physically weaker than a Calatrava building. Luckily, all this is compensated by her great intelligence and a really cool armor that her sister gives her (she doesn’t even hide the plot armor anymore, damn it).

The kingdom inhabited by the protagonist, Navarre (with an e), has been engaged in a war for centuries with the neighbouring kingdom, Poromiel (with a single r). Navarre has dragon riders and Poromiel has griffin riders. The war seems to have been stagnant for all these centuries, but here and there there are hints that something more is brewing…

During her training, young Sorregail meets a bad boy, the son of a rebel leader.

executed, called Xaden. The aforementioned is more cannon than a Russian artillery battery. Here begins a heated romance of I want but I can’t that seems to me an attempt at the much-used enemies to lovers, but so bad and crooked that it makes me wonder if that was really the intention.

(I’ll pause here to mention that the author suffers from the same disease as the protagonist. Also, according to her, Xaden is based on her husband. That said, I’ll refrain from doing so.

Freudian commentaries.)

Violet overcomes all her tests thanks to her shrewd cunning and manages to establish a bond not with one,

but with two dragons. These bonds allow riders and dragons to exchange thoughts and emotions, as well as allowing the former to perform magic. (Of course, our protagonist bonds with the most powerful dragon; of course, she is the first person in history to bond with two dragons; of course, her second dragon is a special kind that gives her unique powers.)

Amidst all this embarrassment there is an underlying plot that, honestly, I don’t know how to take. I sense

The intention was to create an aura of mystery that would grow throughout the novel, to finally make an apotheotic revelation. This “secret” is so apparent from the first moment that I don’t know if we are witnessing a terrible development or if the author is pulling our leg.

In short, the war against Poromiel is being used as a cover for another conflict. In this universe there are mythological beings called venin, a kind of humans corrupted by doing magic without dragons. These scarecrows turn out to be very real and are threatening both kingdoms. I emphasize that this is coming from minute one, so I deny having given a spoiler.

Well, there’s not much else to add here. Basically, we’re faced with a collection of cardboard characters, plots and interactions that are totally forgettable. The development of the world is simplistic, incoherent and convenient. The only thing worth saving are the (unintentional) laughs you can get. (We see, for example, how the protagonist makes lightning strike every time she has an orgasm – William Wallace’s ass shakes – due to her inability to control her powers, even causing a fire. On another occasion, she and the rebel bad boy have sex so wild that they destroy all the furniture in the room – subliminal advertising from Ikea?)

Then, by chance, the dragons of both boys are lovers, so when they do the lizard act, the mental link they have with their riders makes the latter hotter than the battery of a Xiaomi scooter. Luckily, the author is not explicit about this and spares us the scenes of bestiality, but that’s what fanfics are for, right?

The truth is that the only thing I’ve learned from reading Wings of Blood is that if God exists, then Mormonism is certainly not the true Christian faith. How do I know this? Because otherwise I would have struck this lady down with a bolt of lightning a long time ago.

That’s all, friends. I would like to close the review by quoting what is for me without a doubt the best passage in this novel and in the entire history of literature: Without taking his eyes off mine, he enters my body with a deep movement of his hips and takes up every inch until he is completely sheathed to the hilt.