A book a day: Betty Mahmoody: Not without my daughter

There are books that will not go down in the history of literature, among other reasons because it is not their function: in this case, the mission that this novel fulfills is very simple, but also necessary: ​​that of telling us the terrible adventures that Betty had to suffer. Mahmoody and her daughter Mahtob to escape from the clutches of their respective husband and father, an Iranian man, an immigrant to the United States, who upon returning to his country with his newly formed family shows us his true face.

Based on real events, there was a second part, movie, etc. which I will not analyze here (among other reasons, mainly because they do not interest me) and I will limit myself to the novel that I have read.

As I say, it is not a great sample of literature, because, despite having had a supporting writer (William Hoffer), the book does not try to leave a trace of artistic quality, but rather functions as the terrible testimony of these two brave women.

The plot is very simple to understand: Betty and her daughter travel with her husband to their country of origin, Iran, and there they find an absolute hell for women for which Betty is not at all prepared. Her husband (a guy whose name I don’t care to remember), a wolf in sheep’s clothing, tries to get the American to behave like a woman born and raised in Muslim territory, with all that that entails, among other things the absolute lack of freedom for a woman used to moving freely. From citizen to slave.

Betty sees her human interactions limited to the women in her husband’s family, with whom she inevitably clashes. They have grown up in two very different cultures and, between them, each other’s conception of the world is inconceivable.

After the initial shock and subsequent depression, Betty tries to become a good Muslim woman: she begins to be interested in the Muslim religion, studies the Koran and dedicates herself to cooking and taking care of the home. Her husband sees this favorably and, gradually, grants her a greater degree of freedom. Thanks to a network of friends that she manages to meet (there are good people all over the world), Betty finally manages to escape to tell about it through an ordeal that I would not want for myself.

If this novel has given me anything (and it is not a little), it is to delve a little deeper into the way of thinking and behaving of an abused woman who does not abandon her husband – well, okay, in this case because even if she wants to, she doesn’t. maybe, but you understand me – and understand it; It happens very often that one sees terrible cases of abuse and does not understand how a person can live like this and prolong the situation in an ecstasy of agony that never leads anywhere.

Betty Mahmoody has taught me how, in “jumps” at times, the husband lets the carrot show a little and later uses the stick and thus keeps the wife in a state of false hope that his attitude will change. This state can continue more or less indefinitely until everything ends up – inevitably – exploding.

It is important to react as soon as possible, the strategy is very clear from the outside, but from the inside the perspective of the relationship is so distorted that what seems obvious to us, outside viewers, is impossible to see for a woman immersed in a such a toxic relationship.

Perhaps all of this is very obvious to potential readers, but this brutal experience has undoubtedly given me a better knowledge of human behavior, which, as I said before, is no small thing.

And for it to be a “passing” book, intended to be a bridge between more substantial novels, I consider that this has been an enormous contribution. For this reason, I cannot help but recommend it to anyone with a minimum of empathy and concerned about one of the great scourges that we have to face today.